Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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