Whatcha textin bout Willis?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
