So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
