What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
