he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
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is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
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He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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