I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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