naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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