I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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