last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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