Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
