i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
