It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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