Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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