Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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