all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
