This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
