yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
