I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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