can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
