I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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