I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
