I'm going to jail i love you
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
