I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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