i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize