Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
