I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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