he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
