yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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