we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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