Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
