i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
