How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
