Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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