Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
