Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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