I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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