She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
