hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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