As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
