They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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