How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
