I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
