We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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