I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize