why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
