I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Come on in and take your pants off
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