I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
