I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
