I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
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Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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