The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
