If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
