So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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