Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
50% drunk capacity currently
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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