I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
