Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
