my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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