Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
