He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
