Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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